Love and Respect

By Ross Gilbert

Many years ago, Bill and Anabel Gillham of Lifetime Ministries would travel across the USA offering marriage seminars. They would handout a survey to the attendees to better understand how each gender operated. They would ask the men, “I wish my wife would respect me by…” And they would ask the women, “I wish my husband would love me by…”

After a little while they stopped handing out the survey because they kept getting the same answers. They found that there are primarily three ways to respect your husband, and twenty ways to love your wife.

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” - Ephesians 5:33

In the sermon on this topic, Pastor Ross encouraged us to converse with our spouse to discover how we can better fulfill our role as husband or wife.

To help this conversation, the answers from Bill and Anabel’s survey are listed below so you can talk with your spouse to answer the questions: “Husband, what can I do to show you respect?” and “Wife, what can I do that would meaningful show you love?”

Three Ways to Respect Your Husband

1. Support me in my dreams and desires

2. Praise me, build me up with your words and encouragement

3. Sex

Twenty Ways to Love Your Wife

1. By listening to me

2. By taking my ‘petty problems’ seriously

3. By communicating more openly with me

4. By noticing me more – not just when you want sex

5. By saying ‘thank you’ for the things I do

6. By being interested in my life…at least acting like you’re interested

7. By showing affection when other people are around

8. By sharing his goals and values with me; talking his business over with me

9. By remembering me with little gifts or just planning an evening out every so often

10. By taking me out without the kids more – maybe just for a ride

11. By including me in the things he does

12. By trying to understand me

13. By getting involved with things I enjoy doing

14. By just holding me in his arms and talking to me

15. By being tender and using kind, tender words

16. By helping in the discipline and raising of the children

17. By saying little words of caring, compliments, and appreciation

18. By accepting me just as I am

19. By spending more time with the family

20. By making me feel like a woman